Sex Talk | Healing through Performance & Sex Work with Honey Sabina
Welcome to Sex Talk: a deep-dive blog series accompanying the SensuElle Podcast. Featured within will be podcast guests who I just couldn’t get enough of…and I wanted to share! This article is a companion for SensuElle Podcast Episode 2: The Joy of Sex Work with Honey Sabina
Honey Sabina by La Photographie
Tell me who you are, what you do, & why.
My name is Honey Hula-la and I am a performer. Why am I a performer? The best way I can explain it, is that ...performing is magic. You have the ability to externalize a feeling, mood, experience, fantasy, message, etc. by the sheer movement and expression of your body. I think that watching a performer is so enjoyable as a viewer because both parties are benefiting from this dynamic...the performer can express this internal experience into something the viewer fills with their own interpretation, desire, emotion, etc...a mutual catharsis.
How did you get started working in performance & modeling?
I took my first dance class at 18 while I was going to college in Mexico City. They offered free cultural classes, I found out they were offering Polynesian dance and music classes, so I decided to take the drumming lessons. Some family members had taken Tahitian dance at some point in their lives during the 70's & 80's, so it was something I was a little familiar with and wanted to learn. I was only in the drumming class for a few days before I saw the actual dancers warming up & dancing to the live music. I was enthralled. I had to choose between drumming & dancing, so I chose dance. From there I almost immediately began dancing on stages and never stopped. As far as modeling - I began about 15 years ago as a figure model - one of my favorite professional experiences ever. Mainstream, Pinup, Erotic, Fashion modeling, etc came by as a happy accident. Figure modeling led to photography modeling, that led to everything else.
What can you tell us about your work in modeling & being a “smut artist”? How does this align with your personal sexual/ sensual journey?
As far as "smut artist" - I view it as an extension of my performance life. Of course I should admit that I'm an exhibitionist and it's a lot of fun for me! But I also love creating experiences that fulfill mine and others' fantasies in a safe, judgement free environment. How does it align with my sensual journey? My early experiences with sex were not positive ones, sadly that's the case for many people.Our personal relationship with sex often dictates how we view our partners sexuality and our role in it, which can sometimes cause conflict. Shame and guilt can really damage our self esteem and influence our treatment of others - It's important to me to be respectful of others' fear and fantasies, etc., and to embrace my partners sexuality, insecurities and all, in the same way I hope to be embraced and accepted - which is something I try to reflect when I create adult content for my fans.
What’s your personal policy with censorship & nudity on the web? How do you explore or play with nudity in your art?
I think censorship as far as nudity goes is completely ludicrous. There are a lot of awful things people can access freely on the web, nudity and sex is not one of them. I think a healthy societal relationship with sex and it's many branches, would improve the quality of life for every single citizen; decriminalization of sex work, lifting taboos on what is considered a heathy sexual relationship, equal rights for the LGTBTQ community, access to abortions, the list goes on. It's so hard to fathom that these views and laws and based on old puritanical views that still dictate our day to day life. We are human and a huge part of our humanity is sex, it's an exercise in futility to try to censor that.
As far as nudity in my art...again, I think nudity and shame have been ingrained in our psyche for generations, I know it was the case for me. I find freedom in nudity, in sex, in play, because I never had that freedom growing up - the bridge between my mind and body had been severed through trauma and shame. It wasn't until I discovered dance and art that I was able to heal and forge this connection between my mind and body, I finally had control. Having the freedom to express myself truly saved my life and I try to honor that in every aspect of my performance life. It's a sacred gift.
What would you say is your expertise? Professional Seductress? I would like to think that I'm good at making people feel heard & seen.
How does one create smut?
I suppose "smut" is one of those words that was used to deliver a negative association to any art depicting sexual material. "Obscene", according to who? So I'm happy to reclaim that word along with slut or hussy! That being said...smut can be something as simple as taking a sexy selfie to creating a full scene with one or multiple partners. Usually it implies that a spectator is enjoying the final product...but I don't necessarily think that an approving eye needs to be involved...creating smut for oneself is incredibly empowering as well.
Is there a line between smut & art for you? Why/ why not?
No, I don't distinguish one from the other. Smut/porn/sex work is art. There is skill involved, hard work, talent, etc just like the creation of art through any medium...my medium happens to be my body.
What is the strangest thing you’ve learned or observed working in modeling/stripping/ burlesque?
I think the strangest thing I've observed is that people are starving for permission to fully express themselves. Like I mentioned earlier, I think that's at the center of the entertainment business in general, in particular the areas of sex work. The performer and the viewer are engaged in a moment where they're both giving each other permission to be themselves in a way that isn't typically "accepted" in society.
How does being a model & generally sex-positive person inform or affect your sex life?
Well, it's fantastic to be honest lol You do sometimes have to sift through the people who are only interested in you BECAUSE you're a model/sex worker, but have none of the fortitude to actually embrace what that means. So fuck 'em. That's not what I'm interested in at all. When I do find a partner I connect with, I strive to create a safe, loving environment for us to explore each other. That's my kink. I want to know what makes you feel good, and especially what makes you feel safe.